Most kids get their first crush around age 5–7. My 7-year-old sports kid? More interested in fastballs than little girls. That is, until one day at his Little League game when a girl he’s known since he was two showed up after a dance recital.
Our Baby Girl Birth Story: Chaotic Dad Diary from Morning to Delivery (C-Section)
A hilariously unfiltered, minute‑by‑minute dad diary of the day Quackenbush’s baby girl was born — from backyard tanning to nose philosophy, Scrubs, rogue boomer grandparents, and the chaotic beauty of a C‑section delivery. Equal parts ridiculous, heartfelt, and painfully relatable.
I Took My Son to a School Dance and We Immediately Regretted Everything
A father-son duo attempts to survive a Mardi Gras–themed school dance, only to face snack hoarding, table hiding, and a tiny pepperoni criminal.
Smarch Madness 2026: Zoom Meltdowns, Bad Draft Picks, and One Very Awkward Question
Every March, my old high school crew skips the boring NCAA brackets and dives headfirst into Smarch Madness — our chaotic, foul‑mouthed draft game that turns March Madness into pure comedy. From ridiculous team names to Zoom disasters and one unforgettable parenting moment, this year’s edition proves that tradition and poor decisions go hand in hand.
My Wife’s Pregnancy Is on Hard Mode and I’m Not Built for This
A routine pregnancy set on “Hard Mode,” complete with blood, chaos, hospital visits, and Quackenbush’s wife being poked like a medical voodoo doll. And just when things finally calmed down, she asked for one tiny favor…
I’m on the Pill (And It’s Not What You Think)
Quackenbush faces a brutal dilemma that hits right in the vanity. A dark, hilarious rant about the high price of holding on to your hair. Read before something gives.
The White Castle Road Trip Story: Chaos, Burgers, and a Race to O’Hare
A chaotic road trip from Green Bay to Chicago turns into a high‑stakes White Castle mission led by the legendary Big June. A hilarious Quackenbush tale of burgers, panic, and trying not to miss a flight.
Sick as Balls, Strip Malls, and Magic Mouthwash: A Dad’s Fever Dream Disaster
Rated R: Age 18+
Sometimes the real plague isn’t the virus—it’s suburban boredom.