Joke #1: Pelosi’s 16,930% lifetime stock market return rate makes her one of the most scrutinized figures in congressional history.
Pelosi has attributed her market success to, quote: “Receiving all those juicy, insider stock tips”
Joke #2: The long time House Member is most well-known for becoming the first woman Speaker in 2007.
However, congressional observers note that she didn’t speak nearly as much as she slurred
Joke #3: Upon review of her career, historians remain shocked that the female Pelosi was elected Speaker four times since women, quote: “Mostly just ramble on and on about nothing”