Joke #1: President Trump threatened to deploy the National Guard to San Francisco amid rising legal challenges from California officials, who argue the move violates federal law and ignores the city’s declining crime rates. Local leaders called it an unnecessary “authoritarian crackdown” on a city that’s actually getting safer.
In related news… San Francisco has also reported that sidewalk shitting is down 10%
Joke #2: The threat follows Trump’s pattern of targeting “Democrat-run” cities, where Guard deployments coincided with aggressive immigration raids and protests, but San Francisco officials highlighted their low homicide rates and post-pandemic recovery, with CA Governor Gavin Newsom retorting on X that Trump would “ruin one of America’s greatest cities.”
Trump is said to have responded, quote… “Greatest city? More like gayest city”
Joke #3: Despite Trump’s claims of chaos in San Francisco, crime stats from the SFPD show property crimes down nearly 30% in 2025, yet the president doubled down, hinting at invoking rarely used laws to override state objections, as critics like Nancy Pelosi warned it could escalate violence like in Portland, where appeals courts are still battling the legality.
Trump reacted to Pelosi’s claims by saying, quote… “Oh shut up you old hag”
Joke #4: Legal experts have questioned Trump’s authority under the Insurrection Act, noting courts already blocked similar moves in other Democratic cities, framing the threat as a blatant federal overreach amid the city’s AI-driven economic resurgence.
Meanwhile, the city has also experienced a resurgence of bums shouting at old ladies